The Comparison Trap
We've all been there and fallen into the trap....the comparison trap. Social media has made it even harder to avoid getting caught up in comparisons. We see the other moms who seemingly "have it all together" and we feel like we're not enough. Not good enough, not doing enough, and just not adding up to the worldly standards that we can put on ourselves. I know personally I have fallen into the trap at times and compared myself to what I saw on social media by someone else and felt like I didn't add up or wasn't qualified to do certain things, such as this blog. But social media paints a picture and we only see the good or what is perceived to be good that people may post. We don't see the full picture. We don't see the struggles, hardships and challenges. People usually don't talk about that side, only the "good" things. I feel authenticity is lacking when it comes to social media and try to avoid comparing myself to others but it's a challenge!!! So how do we avoid getting caught up in the trap of comparison? One of my favorite scriptures talks about how there are many parts that make up one body and how everyone plays a unique role.
12 There is one body, but it has many parts. But all its many parts make up one body. It is the same with Christ. 13 We were all baptized by one Holy Spirit. And so we are formed into one body. It didn’t matter whether we were Jews or Gentiles, slaves or free people. We were all given the same Spirit to drink. 14 So the body is not made up of just one part. It has many parts.
15 Suppose the foot says, “I am not a hand. So I don’t belong to the body.” By saying this, it cannot stop being part of the body. 16 And suppose the ear says, “I am not an eye. So I don’t belong to the body.” By saying this, it cannot stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, how could it hear? If the whole body were an ear, how could it smell? 18 God has placed each part in the body just as he wanted it to be. 19 If all the parts were the same, how could there be a body? 20 As it is, there are many parts. But there is only one body. (1st Corinthians 12:12-20)
If we were all the same and all had the same gifts and skills there would be no room for learning about and embracing differences and for collaboration and the beauty that comes along with working together and everyone sharing their unique skills they have been gifted with because everyone would be the same. By knowing, nurturing and embracing your own gifts and strengths and remembering that you have a special and unique place and calling especially meant for you and just you, whatever that may be, you can walk in confidence. A few years back I took a test on knowing what my spiritual gifts are. I highly recommend taking this assessment. There's lots of assessments out there and I recommend contacting your church to help you if you'd like to take an assessment to see what gifts you have. Once you know these gifts then you can nurture them and find ways to grow in them such as taking a class or talking with a mentor and getting experience at your church or in your neighborhood or community. Then once you've grown and nurtured whatever your gift may be then you can walk in it and embrace it and use it to help others.
Most importantly, God gifted you with a unique role and with gifts that He knew your children and your family would need which is why He gave you the kids He did knowing they needed what YOU could give them. And give yourself grace!!! He has given us grace and that same grace He gives to us we should give to ourselves. We weren't made for perfection and having it all together. That's His job and we should look to Him to help us in all aspects of our mothering, and as His children. Don't allow the enemy steal your joy either. What one mom may be doing may not be what He has called you to do so knowing what your gifts are will help you determine what He has called and gifted you to do. Comparison is the thief of joy and the enemy wants you to feel all the feelings of not being enough and take you down that slippery slope of despair. Don't allow that to happen. Know, embrace and nurture who and whose you are and allow Him to work through you to be the great Mama and woman He called you to be.
